The news of Roberto Carlos’ supposed passing from a severe heart attack just days ago had sent shockwaves through the sports world. At 52, the man who had conquered pitches worldwide with his thunderous left foot was gone too soon, or so everyone believed. Fans outside the cathedral chanted his name, sharing stories of how his overlapping runs and pinpoint crosses inspired generations. “He wasn’t just a player; he was a force of nature,” one tearful Madridista said, holding a banner reading “Forever Our Galáctico.”

Inside, the air was thick with emotion as some of the biggest names in football history gathered to honor their comrade. Lionel Messi, his eyes red and swollen, had flown directly from Miami after an Inter Miami match, skipping rest to be there. Dressed in a simple black suit, the Argentine maestro looked visibly moved, perhaps reflecting on how Roberto Carlos’ flair influenced his own career. Cristiano Ronaldo, who shared the Galácticos era with him at Real Madrid, arrived in a sleek black ensemble, embracing Ronaldo Nazário – “O Fenômeno” – who was already sobbing uncontrollably.

The Galácticos reunion was bittersweet: Zinedine Zidane, David Beckham, Luís Figo, Raúl González, Iker Casillas, and Fabio Cannavaro – nearly the entire golden generation – were present, their faces etched with grief. From Brazil’s side, legends like Cafu, Rivaldo, Ronaldinho, Neymar Jr., Vinícius Jr., and Rodrygo joined the throng, representing the Samba spirit that Roberto Carlos embodied. The cathedral’s pews overflowed with stars, a testament to his universal impact.As the service progressed, large screens played highlights that brought the congregation to tears: the legendary “banana” free-kick against France in the 1997 Tournoi de France, where the ball defied physics, swerving impossibly into the net past a bewildered Fabien Barthez. Scientists still debate the aerodynamics, but for fans, it was pure magic. Then came the thunderous volley in the 2002 Champions League final against Bayer Leverkusen, sealing Real Madrid’s ninth European title. His overlapping runs with Zidane, precise crosses to Raúl, and unbreakable defense in Brazil’s 2002 World Cup victory – all replayed in vivid detail.Ronaldo Nazário, struggling to compose himself, took the podium first. “He was my brother, the strongest heart in football. Now that heart has stopped…” His voice cracked, echoing the pain of losing a teammate who helped lift the World Cup trophy in Yokohama. Messi followed, his words soft but profound: “Roberto Carlos inspired me endlessly. His shots taught us that nothing is impossible.” CR7, ever concise, added: “Today, football loses a piece of its history. He’ll live forever in our hearts.”Zidane reminisced about their Galácticos days, when Real Madrid assembled a dream team under Florentino Pérez. “Roberto wasn’t just a defender; he was an attacker in disguise. His energy lifted us all.” Beckham shared anecdotes of locker room laughs, while Neymar spoke for the new generation: “We stand on his shoulders. Vinícius and I owe our style to him.” The tributes painted a picture of a man who transcended borders – 125 caps for Brazil, four La Liga titles, three Champions Leagues, two Copa Américas, and a World Cup. From humble beginnings in Garça to global stardom, his journey inspired millions. 

Outside, fans mourned in droves, some traveling from Europe and Asia. Chants of “Roberto! Roberto!” filled the streets, with makeshift memorials of scarves and photos adorning the cathedral steps. The ceremony was set to culminate in a procession to his hometown cemetery in Garça for burial, a fitting return to his roots.But as the crowd prepared for the final rites, Roberto Carlos’ eldest son stepped to the microphone, a peculiar smile on his face amid the sorrow. The room fell silent, anticipating more eulogies. Then came the bombshell: “Everyone… My father IS NOT DEAD! This was all a ‘prank’ to warn about fake news!”

For a split second, the cathedral froze in disbelief. Then, explosions of laughter, applause, and joyful tears erupted. Roberto Carlos himself emerged from behind a curtain, beaming in a Real Madrid jersey, thumbs up high: “Thank you all for coming! I just had a preventive heart procedure – no heart attack! Fake news can kill reputations!”It turned out the entire “funeral” was an elaborate stunt orchestrated by Roberto Carlos and his family, in collaboration with the stars, to highlight the dangers of misinformation on social media. The death rumors had plagued him after his real hospital stay for an angioplasty, and this was his cheeky way to fight back. Messi and Ronaldo burst into laughter, Zidane shook his head: “This monkey tricked us again!”

The football world shifted from grief to jubilation in an instant. The legend of the “banana shot” wasn’t just alive – he had curved a perfect strike against fake news. As the “mourners” celebrated, Roberto Carlos hugged his friends, proving once more why he’s eterna